We don’t like uncertainty and we want control.

My clients health, food, weight concerns and eating issues are directly connected to the strategies they use to brace against uncertainty and fears about life, love, $, and health. Economic instability and uncertainty contributes to stress. We have not been taught how to do uncertainty, which creates stress.

Stress causes decreased digestive function and calorie burning, and eventual cellular and chemical wearing down of the weakest links the your body. Chronic stress depletes the human system, leading to unwanted symptoms and behaviors. It’s predictable.

There is an obstacle called “control”. Because life is uncertain, sometimes intimidating, and life ultimately has its way with us, we try to overpower life through control. We control our feelings (anger, lust, desire, selfishness, greed), desires, impulses, fears, loved ones, friends, diet, exercise - anything. We become control freaks, because it helps us feel safe and powerful. Ultimately, too much control stops the flow of life, creativity, love, healing energy within the body and wisdom.

Extreme control becomes “perfectionism” - the search for the perfect diet, perfect body, perfect weight, perfect lifestyle, the perfect schedule, perfect health. Always around the corner from perfectionism and intense control is self-abuse. I notice where in life you try to control.

Control is a symbolic substitute for that thing that were looking for, which is a sense of trust and connection. If I trusted life and felt connected to the greater whole, I wouldn’t have such a need to control stuff. The reality and truth of the matter is, what can we really control? Very little, really. The universe works on it’s own and it doesn’t need us to manage it. And yet, when it comes to food, many of us think “well if I can’t control my life, the world, my spouse, kids, etc. then I will control my diet and my weight.

The truth is that life is uncertain. The truth is that life has always been uncertain and it always will be. Uncertainty is the way of the universe and it’s okay. It’s not so bad as we’ve made it out to be. Uncertainty is a basic cosmic law. Uncertainty exists and, strangely enough, it guides us. Uncertainty is the “void” before creation. Metaphysically, chaos and uncertainty always precedes creation.

Embracing uncertainty allows us to let go of control. It allows for the magic of life to happen. When we are trying to control, the magic can’t happen. When we relax into uncertainty, wisdom is born. Can you relax into not knowing? Can you embrace the journey and the unknown, instead of resisting and bracing against it?

Clients often come to me in great fear of uncertainty and looking for control. They could be dealing with weight, digestive and mood issues, food allergies, they hate their life and their body. I ask questions and gather information. I make the connections and sometimes connections reveal themselves. My job as a coach is to help my clients relax into uncertainty. What heals is when we learn to trust around uncertainty, around finances and surrender to change.