Understanding Unwanted Habits & Behaviors

There is a distillation of the wisdom that comes from the world's great spiritual and religious traditions that has endured since the beginning of mankind on the earth. They all have one thing in common. It is my hope that this information will shine a light in the places of the soul and help you understand what is going on with respect to unwanted habits, unwanted behaviors, disease and dysfunction. How does it all work?

In the beginning, we (mankind) were created "whole". We were connected to God, in the Garden; Paradise. We enjoyed food from the tree of life and were healthy physically, emotionally and spiritually. We loved each other and got along. We were surrounded by beauty. Life was care free and we were grounded. We knew who we were. We had a positive self esteem and healthy self image.

A betrayal happened, a wounding, fall from grace, loss of innocence, exit from the Garden, and separation from God. We were no longer connected to the Source. We found ourselves in a violent world that isn’t safe.

Think of the Garden of Eden, when people were naked and not self conscious. They didn't even know they were naked. Think of an infant or toddler. Every infant is programmed to love itself and it’s own body. They are happy to be naked. They look in the mirror and are fascinated, even delighted with their body. They touch themselves and love being held. They look at themselves and enjoy being seen. They don't know they are naked.

Then there is a betrayal. Today, it’s when someone tells them or gives them the idea that they are less than, not good enough, unworthy. They feel emotionally rejected by or separated from parents, which are their source. They feel like they are not worthy to be loved by anyone. This wound leaves a scar and it happens more than once. Culture influences our beliefs that we adopt the wounds of culture; the body is this ugly, dirty, sinful, and unworthy thing that you’ve got to hide, because it’s not good enough. This happens to each one of us.

Separation from God leads to false beliefs; "I am alone. I am not enough. I am broken and can't be fixed. I am unlovable". This leads us to create habits and behaviors, based on these false beliefs, and they reinforce separation, which then supports the false beliefs. It's a vicious circle that brings us down farther and farther into the dark night of the soul.

When we self reject, because we falsely believe that's what we deserve. We self abuse - with food, drugs, alcohol, etc. We may commit acts of violence against ourselves or others. We are prosecutor, judge and jury. We self hate, self attack and may also hate and attack others, verbally or physically. Poor eating habits, adopting unhealthy lifestyle habits and avoiding emotional pain by pushing it down, reinforces the belief that we are alone, not enough, unworthy, etc.

False beliefs will cause us to attract to ourselves, and seek out examples, that reinforce those false beliefs. And, every time we encounter a situation that reinforces those false beliefs, we will embrace them as truth, and they affirm that we are correct in your false belief. At the same time, we will not notice the situations that don’t reinforce those false beliefs. A women who has had a poor father figure, believes that all men are jerks. She attracts to herself men who are jerks and she looks for examples that reinforce the false belief that all men are indeed jerks. She embraces this false belief as truth and makes herself right, while at the same time failing to notice the situations and men that don't reinforce her false belief that all men are jerks. She will create habits that keep her in that cycle.

We will create habits that reinforce our core beliefs. We falsely believe that food is the enemy, yet we will reach for foods that sabotage the body and cause weight gain. That affirms our false belief that food makes us fat, so food is the enemy. Then we look in the mirror and affirm to ourselves that we are indeed not good enough. We feel guilty for eating the "forbidden food", self judge, self reject, feel unworthy, unlovable and unloved in the world, either consciously or subconsciously. Then, we binge eat as substitute love or because we are lonely. This too cycles. The act of eating the "forbidden food", has created a bazaar disconnected relationship with food since Adam & Eve.

Without a connection with God, we feel lost and feel the need to get connected to something that is bigger, grander, and better. We look for “false Gods”. Instead of searching for the perfect relationship between our soul and the Creator of the universe, we try to have the perfect diet, the perfect body, the perfect weight, the perfect job, the perfect relationship with a person who will love and accept us for who we are and make us happy. Yet, we don't love ourselves and accept ourselves = a paradox. "If I just had more money, fame, more power, a higher position in the company, more things, a better home, and more... then, I'd be happy". Fat people want to lose weight and skinny people think they are fat. Both don’t think they are good enough. Physicality doesn’t guarantee anything. You can have the perfect body, health and lots of energy, and still be miserable.

Also, when we feel alone and abandoned, we tend to develop scarcity thinking, which creates survival based living and competition amongst each other, hoarding, and selfishness. We become jealous and covetous. Think of the toddler who will not share. "If you take what I have, or I give it to you, I will be in lack and want." However, when we trust parents and/or God, we understand that they have our best interest at heart and will always provide. When we hoard, we keep our hand closed, so we also can't receive. When we open our hand and let go, we are able to receive opportunity for more to come to us. When we are growing up, we receive a lot from the Universe, but at some point we need to turn it around and give back. When you give your gift, you receive blessings. That's how the Universe works.

These “False Gods” are referred to in Psychology as “Symbolic Substitutes”. We are looking for love and perfection in all the wrong places. A substitute god could also be substance abuse; drugs, alcohol, food, cigarette, or addictions, like shopping, gambling, etc. An unbalanced attachment to these are all the symptomatic result of a disconnection from God.

When we deny the body, and don’t pay attention to the needs of the soul. When we don’t feel the connection, the love - we develop an unbalanced mind and disease in the body; thus we die slowly.

In the garden we enjoyed vitality, high metabolic power, overwhelming happiness and we felt nourished. A baby or toddler cries and is held close, given the bottle or breast and cared for. We associate food with love. Food is love.

All of these negative habits and emotions create symptoms and disease. Then we reach for products that reinforce illness and disease. This may be anything from poor food choices to drugs.

What’s missing is that we have forgotten that we are whole and we need to reconnect with our wholeness. Life is a search to reconnect to that original state of wholeness and to heal the wounds of separation. You don't lack willpower. It makes sense that because when you are lonely, come home from work to an empty house, you have no one, your too tired after working a long day to socialize. You don’t know what to do, so you reach for food. It's totally understandable. I get it! I would do the same thing, and I have done the same thing! From this place, every unwanted habit or behavior around food / health / eating is a distorted attempt to achieve wholeness. The body, the psyche, heart, soul and spirit are trying to restore balance. When we look at it this way, our unwanted behaviors make perfect sense.

We’ve got to connect our personal and physical ailments to something higher. Otherwise, we will continue to be lost. Even if you don’t believe in God, consider it from the truth of who you are and what your body wisdom speaks to you. Consider how the soul realm penetrates your inner life by repeating the same patterns over and over again, with the goal of getting your attention and teaching you a valuable life lesson. If there isn't a higher reason or purpose for the suffering, pain, diseases and obstacles we face, we can easily become apathetic, fall apart, stay sick, in darkness and unconscious.

When we are hurt, wounded and suffering, unless we have a compass that can point our souls compass, spirituality, to the Greater Power from where we came, it continues to point to earthly dimensions were more suffering, pain and disease tends to happen. Where people disappoint us. When we see life form the Divine perspective, it gives us the ability to heal, transform and grow in ways we could never have imagined. Get your vision to focus on the bigger picture. Embrace all of who we are; heart, body (our space suit), mind, soul (timeless, survives the body). We learn life lessons through the biology and psychology of having a body. I can help you learn new, interesting, and helpful ways to assist you in your journey in inside your earth space suit. Helping people have a relationship with food, body and health that elevates, exalts and helps them to reach their full potential is what I do.

People intuitively know that if they had the health and body they want, that they would be happy and be able to do so much more. In part, that is true, but what’s more important is to have your body and soul in alignment. That’s where true health and the creative, expressive power of who you are as an individual on this earth comes from. When body and soul are in alignment, something beautiful and powerful happens.
We tend stay stuck in the realm of the psyche and the operational system of the mind, which has it's place, but it needs to be bumped up to the next higher level, which is the level of the soul. Until you are able to do that, many of us will stay stuck where we are in all our issues. As a coach, counselor, teacher, mentor and friend, I tap into the spiritual realm to understand what life lesson it is that the Divine is asking my client to learn. These are learning opportunities that are prerequisites to graduating planet earth. You can’t leave here and get to go to heaven until you learn your lessons, and that’s the whole point.

If you feel unloved, you will reach for food, because food is a powerful source of love. We are emotional creatures with a heart and feelings. To deny this is to deny a part of yourself. You can eat food, and feel good. You are acting from the evolutionary, genetic, physiologic knowing that every baby has when they cry and mommy holds them, and feeds them. Then they completely transform from screaming infant to a happy, relaxed baby, just from having food come into their mouth. That is a powerful genetic and cellular memory. The infant does not distinguish between the food going into their mouth, the taste and this is the love of my mother, her warmth, touch, voice. It’s all one and connected. Food does impede us when we don’t know how to address the underlying and motivating reason for eating.

This is a beautiful reality to introduce my client to, because so many of my clients are hating themselves; self rejecting, think they are losers. They are coming to me for help, to get fixed, but on a deeper level, what they need is love and acceptance. That’s the foundation of all healing and reconnection to the Source. We get reconnected to the source when love and consciousness are reintroduced into the equation. This may not sound scientific to you or super psychological, but after years of exploring weight and health issues, what it comes to is that if love and consciousness are not part of the process, then healing isn’t possible to it’s fullest.

Our culture has hit a wall when it comes to health and healing. Hospitals are packed beyond capacity, especially mental wards. Our medical system is failing us. Food manufacturers are failing us. Drug companies have failed us. They are not working! True healing comes when we are able to access the light from the highest place.